roller-coaster

Each year as the holiday's approach I seem to jump on the "emotional roller-coaster".  It wasn't until the other night that I understood why.

I miss our little boy.

He'd actually be a big boy now. He'd be 4 1/2 years old.

What he'd look like?
How smart he would be?
Would he like football, soccer, baseball, tennis??
What would be on his Christmas list?
What would be his favorite meal?
Would he love mashed potatoes as much as I do?
Would his dark hair be curly or straight? 
I would really love to see his face light up Christmas morning.
I'd love to see him sing in the Primary Program at church.
I'd love to see him kiss and hug on his little brothers.
I'd love to hear him giggle with his Daddy.
I would absolutely love to snuggle with him and kiss his chubby cheeks (I imagine they'd be chubby).

It's not easy. It breaks my heart every year. As time goes on it's getting easier. But it's also harder in many ways.

I really miss him. Even though I carried him for 26 weeks and only held him once - I miss him very much.

Busy as usual

Lately: I started my new job and love it so far Kids started day care, which started the lovely sickness in our home Cooper and I are sick Crew is happy as ever, growing fast, and sleeping 10+ hours at night straight Brady has a head cold but manages to work, take care of us, and the house! That's all for now. Maybe once things slow down I will take some pictures!

Happy Halloween!

Birthday

Another year has gone by and once again I've worked on my birthday :( Grr! but as always my boys spoiled me!

Friday night Brady arranged for a friend to watch the boys so we could go out for dinner. We went to Outback Steakhouse and had a nice quiet meal just the two of us. Then we went to Target and bought the new Fast Five to watch when we got home.

Then on Saturday my friend who worked Sunday morning asked if I'd be willing to trade her shifts. Of course I said yes because then I would be home Sunday night (my actual birthday). So on Sunday I went to my LAST day of work and came home to presents and dinner made by my hubby! I showered and jumped into my pj's for the evening! It the perfect ending to my crazy birthday.

my presents!! two Cricut card things and Photoshop!!

 enjoying some time with crazy coop!

 making faces at Daddy! Cooper is being silly as always

I had a great birthday! Staff at work sang to me over the intercom, a few phone calls, and a couple cards came my way!! I am blessed with so many people that love and care about me.