Job and Parenthood.

It's difficult to balance between being a parent and a job. I go back and forth. a LOT. I want to be a stay at home mom but yet I want to work as well. When I'm at work I want to be home, when I'm home with crazy kids I want to work (just a little). It's confusing to me and very frustrating. Why can't I decide.

So for now I still need to work for our growing family. It solves part of the problem. But I miss my kids when I'm gone. I miss being there for every single minute of their short time as babies. Grr...

BUT good news came our/my way. I GOT A NEW JOB!!! It's perfect. Perfect for me. Perfect for the kids. Perfect for Brady.

It's at St. Luke's hospital here in town and I will be working NOC shift in the NICU!!! It's part time - meaning 2 nights a week. The kids are enrolled in day care and will be going 2 days a week just so I can get some sleep. I think it's great because Cooper could REALLY use some activities with other children (he's being a stinker lately with other kids). And as Crew gets older it will be good for him to have the same experience. And then the other days I can be home with them!

Overall, I am nervous and excited! It should be a good change and great experience for me as a RN. I will miss my children very much but I hope that I can help other children grow strong so they can go home with their loving parents!

Our growing boys!

Here's another picture overload!

Crew has the most kissable cheeks right now! I do it all.the.time.

 I really do love my little boys!

 Crew absolutely adores Cooper! It makes me a little nervous to see what Crew learns from his big brother.

 Crew is a very very happy baby! He cries for good reasons and is a good natured little boy. So much more relaxed than Cooper was as a baby. I kind of like it!

 Cooper got a new coat and snow pants for this winter! He loved wearing his new stuff.

 Here's the typical me...hair up, no make up, and looking tired. It's a good thing Brady loves me for me because I can be pretty scary! And this is a good picture to show you how small Crew still is!

 this is a silly picture but it shows his hair growing back in and that he LOVES his hands. his hands always smell like spit because he constantly has them in his mouth. It's pretty gross.

 we made halloween cookies with Alisha, Makenna and Peyton. Cooper enjoyed the frosting. a LOT.

 he ended up dumping it on the table and adding water to it - making a huge sticky mess. But he had fun!

 haha. sucking off the sticky mess.

 here's a preview of coop's costume :) Isn't he the most innocent pirate you've ever seen?!

 we went and visited Grandma and Grandpa Ellis in Rexburg. I didn't get very many pictures but he sure does love them!

 the joy of an empty storage tub! he liked to have the lid on (with him in the tub) while Brady pulled him around the room.

 we went outside and played in the crisp fall air.

 crew is getting a little stronger each day. as you can see I had to prop him up with blankets so that he wouldn't slouch to either side! he is 3 months old in this picture.

mommy moment kind of day...

when I think of a "mommy moment" it's not just something cute. I also think of something that I'd want to remember. so here's my day up to this point:

I wake up at 8:15 hearing Crew crying hysterically. I feel AWFUL because I have no idea how long he's been crying. I was exhausted.

Cooper wakes up all happy. GREAT way to start the day! Then he turns into this tasmanian devil that's running, jumping, throwing, climbing, twirling EVERYWHERE! Where the extra energy came from I do not know.

After getting ready we headed to a doctor's appointment for Cooper. While I was getting myself ready Crew was in the bouncer smiling the whole time and Cooper was running wild getting into things he knows he's not supposed to and laughing while doing it. Then he throws a fit because we are not leaving fast enough. He even tried to pick up the car seat with crew in it! He continues to throw a fit as I'm shoving him in the car. Yes, SHOVED him in the car (we were already late). He calmed down with his football and book.

As we rush inside to the doctor's office and sit down some random kid (looked like he was 8 or 9) started to play with Cooper. Sorry to all the mom's out there who let their kids do this but I do NOT let Cooper play in a doctor's office. All the germs and sick children around...I think not! Cooper thought it was cool to throw his football for the other kid to play with and I had to ask the kid several times to get it back. Then Coop was mad and threw a HUGE fit. Thrashing, screaming, crying. Oh the looks that came my way were ridiculous...let me tell you. Once in the room Cooper continues to be that tasmanian devil tearing up the paper, running around, yelling, and giving me a work out. The doc comes in and takes a look at everything and comments how strong Cooper is and just smiles. haha the doc just smiled at the ENERGY Cooper has and that he can climb onto anything he thinks he can. He was very impressed with his ball throwing skills and literally jumping and climbing on every single thing possible. Then to run off some of his energy we ran to the van...literally. We ran all the way across a parking lot with him holding my hand and me with a stroller. And to add to it all he thought it would be funny to knock on someone's car door...with someone in it. He was a nice man and just laughed and said "it's fine!" :)

The ride home was nice and quiet. Then we get inside and he's running around taking his shoes and coat off. I sit him down for lunch and he shovels it in his mouth and says "all done." And the running around continues. Like crazy running around. Brady gets home and asks "what's up with Cooper? He's wild!" Running into walls on purpose because he thinks it's funny.

Then I find Crew pooping his diaper (thank goodness he sleeps like a rock). I pick him up and start to change him. It was one of those explosive diapers when poo is down the legs. It wouldn't be a big deal if he wasn't so stinkin' excited and kicking his feet as if he's running a marathon! So as I'm slowly undressing him trying to clean off the poo on his legs I hear a BIG BANG!! And I mean BIG!! I turn around and Cooper has tipped over in the laundry basket and smacked his head on the vent cover. I run over and swoop him up to see the damage. It's a massive line across his forehead and it looks like it's going to bleed. i run and get a cold wash cloth to press on his forehead, gave him some tylenol and snuggled him for a minute. He wanted up to look in the mirror so we looked at his "owe" and move on. Seriously, tough kid. Then he continues to climb on things in the living room. This time I see him trying to climb over the back side of the couch!!! So I stopped changing Crew (who is without a diaper at this moment) to teach Cooper we do not climb on the couch like that. ugh. so I go back to Crew and get him cleaned up and put in pajamas because it's just easier.

By now it's nap time. Thank goodness both boys were as exhausted as I am because they went down without a single peep! This is the kind of day that both boys were extremely happy and Cooper went WILD! It's the kind of day I want to look back on and laugh because I am sure there won't be another day quite like this one :)

P.S. as I'm finishing this up both boys are starting to cry. It's only been 32 min. to be exact.

so that's my mommy moment kind of day!

Sleeping Babies

In just about every conversation I have with an adult about Crew they seem to always ask about the long sleepless nights. Every single one has been completely shocked that I reply with "he sleeps through the night." But no one says "well, how did you do that?" it's always..."wow you're lucky!" or "not every baby will do that!" But I'm here to tell you that I'm not just lucky. We worked hard for BOTH children to sleep through the night. Cooper did at 7 weeks and Crew did around 8 weeks. Coincidence?

We HIGHLY recommend this book.

When I was talking with several friends and family about their baby's sleep schedule each one of the parents (who's baby was sleeping through the night) recommended this book. Brady and I both have read it and think it's AWESOME! There are things that we don't "go by the book" but we adjust to our family needs and they still sleep through the night. I mean Crew is sleeping 10-12 hours straight and he's not even 3 months old.

So here it is. Our favorite "magic" book! And I thank EVERY single mother who recommended this book (especially Chelsea for helping us at first with Cooper). It got me through nursing school :)

just for giggles

We took these pictures when Crew was less than a week old. I wasn't going to show them to you because...well, it's Cooper in a bra! haha but my friend recently posted a picture of her 2 year old daughter wearing her bra and I mentioned that we have pictures like that of Cooper. So these are specifically for my friend and for you to giggle at...and maybe even embarrass Cooper some day!

it's beginning to look like fall!

I am pretty sure fall is my favorite season. I love the change in colors, cooler temperatures and thinner air (not that Idaho has heavier air than good ole Michigan). Even the food tastes better - soups, casseroles, and cookies! Everything is FALL to me. Here are a few things we have done so far...

Made cookies! Brady hurt his big toe REALLY bad and had a friend from the ward take a look at it. He's a PA and we wanted to make sure it wasn't broken. So the cookies were a thank you for taking a look at his foot on his own personal time.

 Long sleeve shirts and football! Here's a cute picture of cooper sharing pretzel sticks with daddy.

 these two are the best! cooper is asking to watch football now so they have fun sitting and staring. this last saturday we were invited to watch our friends sons play in their first flag football game. cooper LOVED LOVED LOVED to watch them play and kept yelling at them from the sideline. I joke with Brady that Cooper just might end up being a hard core football player instead of soccer. :)

 here he is at the pumpkin patch! we met up with Travis, Alisha and their kids to pick some out. The kids just ran around picking out their favorite pumpkin to take home. This year we picked out 3 for the boys and 1 for us.

 Brady in his Michigan game gear.

 Cooper really enjoyed picking up all the "ball" and throwing them.

 kenna and peyton. peyton is about 2 months younger the crew and is MUCH bigger! he is so sweet!!

 our family. it's hard to imagine Kegan in the picture. he'd be 4 1/2!

 crew was super happy about being back in the car!

 Here's Cooper when he's tired. the blanket is up by his nose!

 peyton is passed out on the floor :) i think he should give crew some of that hair!

 kenna and cooper played really well together. they are starting to be great friends. lots of hugs, kisses, and high fives for these two little (big) ones.

 cooper is starting to be REALLY interested in what I'm doing in the kitchen. he knows that things are "hot" and believes every thing near the stove is hot. i'm okay with that! but lately i've let him stand on a chair and "help" me with things. this picture is of him "cleaning dishes". i poured some soap into a clean bowl and gave him some clean silverware to "wash". he thought it was pretty great!

A few other things we have done: made home made beef stew, turned the heat on in our home, pulled out winter jackets, bought Crew's halloween costume and threw away the summer pool.

More things to come: halloween, my birthday!, a new nephew, and hopefully family pictures.

1 year ago.

here's our little cooperman one year ago! crazy hair, messy face, and cutest little smile!

today he has been a perfect little boy. we watched cartoons when i was feeding crew, then went outside to play with sidewalk chalk, and then came in for a nice warm grilled cheese. he actually ATE!! i was so excited and kept giving him food since it's the most he's ate in weeks. maybe his appetite is coming back. then we played and waited for daddy to come home for lunch. as we were eating he had a few pretzel sticks and calls them crackers. after daddy left we watched a bit of tangled while i fed crew again. then it was nap time! he went down without a single head bang!!! YAY!! i really do love that little boy.

Little cute things...

Cooper's doing some cute things and I wanted to share a few:

- when we say "just a minute" we always put a finger up  - not sure why. Well, lately he's been more patient when we say "just a minute" and he will say it in his own jibberish and hold up his finger meaning "just a minute."
- he's saying prayer now and it sounds like "payer". and he says amen in his own little jibberish but it's always the same so I know that's what he's saying.
- crew is officially "baby". we never call crew baby but that's what cooper calls him! so cute.
- my sister in law (tara) showed cooper that if you push your belly button you go "beep beep" well now he goes beep beep to everyone's belly button. haha it's adorable.
- he says "up" all the time now and wants to be picked up. yay!! :/
- he has another favorite that has to go to bed and everywhere with him...a soft, squishy baseball.
- he LOVES LOVES LOVES to play catch. we will sit across the room from each other and throw it back and forth. he has perfect aim (not even kidding a bit. it's perfect) but has no desire to actually catch the ball. I have horrible aim so I usually just kind of toss it to him...even then I usually miss! he thinks it's funny :) He's starting to distinguish between different balls. there's a baseball "beball" and football "fooball". He has even started to ask to watch football, which is odd because Brady doesn't watch it that often (he wishes he could watch it more).
- he LOVES all things with a motor: car, truck, train, airplane, etc. He hears an airplane and flips out! He runs to the window and searches the sky! I wish we had an air museum near by.
- his new favorite movie is "how to train your dragon." he giggles and smiles at the main black dragon. it's a way cute movie. if you haven't seen it...watch it!
- he knows what pants are, shirt, hair, sock, shoe (of course-he's obsessed), feet, hand, ear, eye, nose, buttocks (we call it bum), and privates (yes he's very aware that he's a boy).
- i mentioned shoes above...every day he gets into our front closet and drags out shoes. he's very picky on what shoes he wants to wear. if we try to put on different shoes than what he wants he cries, kicks, and flips around. he doesn't get away with that. he has to wear tennis shoes when it's cold out!
- he can do a sommersault. way cute!
- he gives the best hugs EVER!! We will be doing whatever and then all of a sudden he comes running at me and tackles me with the best hug and a little "mmm" to show his love. And sometimes I even get a kiss at the same time.

Anyway, that's all for now. I seriously love our biggest little man and am so incredibly grateful to be his mother. He brings so much happiness to our home. He's a wonderful big brother and loves Crew more than I ever imagined at his young age.  Even on the hardest days I am so proud to be a mother and I love every day I get to stay home with them.

playing vs clean home

Being a parent is tough. I always knew it would be but I never realized I would be a "neat freak" when it comes to our home. I honestly stress a LOT about dishes in the sink, clothes in the laundry room, bed not made, and toys everywhere. I feel the NEED to have things clean and organized at all times and I feel like it's my responsibility to have it done. So when a toddler and a baby come into the picture I struggle finding a good balance between playing and cleaning. I am recently finding that Cooper's tantrums and whining moments ease with a little bit more one on one time with him. This made me think about how much time I was actually putting into playing vs. cleaning. So this week I have put cleaning off for nap time and after bedtime and Cooper's been so much happier! I may feel a bit more overwhelmed and stressed but I am working on the whole "don't worry about it" part of cleaning.


I came across this quote on someone else's blog. I thought it was perfect for my week...


“Everything in all the books I once pored over is finished for me now. Penelope Leach. T. Berry Brazelton. Dr. Spock. The ones on sibling rivalry and sleeping through the night and early-childhood education, all grown obsolete. Along with ‘Goodnight Moon’ and ‘Where the Wild Things Are,’ they are battered, spotted, well used. But I suspect that if you flipped the pages dust would rise like memories.” Then she goes on and talks about some of the mistakes she made while raising her babies. “…the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make…I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three of [my children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4, and 1. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.”

--Anna Quindlen

cheese!!!

I think I have the cutest boys! Enjoy these pictures!

 {WARNING: the picture below is not flattering. Not even in the slightest bit. I worked a weird schedule - Saturday 2pm-1130pm and Sunday 6am-4pm. So I am EXHAUSTED here.}

 He's so big and no longer needs me to cut his sandwich into bite size pieces!

emotions?

Woman are very emotional.

It's just natural.

So when I go from being content to crying my eyes out ... it's pretty normal.

However, when both my boys go from smiling to screaming in half a second...that's not very normal to me!

Crew will be quiet as can be then out of no where he's screaming! not crying, not whining, just screaming. he's always better after a full bottle and some cuddling. {cooper as a baby always whined and made noises before he started to full out cry or scream - this is very new to us}

Cooper will do the same thing...only with a teeny tiny bit of warning. but he's also starting that whole "terrible two's" stage so it's a bit more expected :)

So what's the deal with emotions? Or should I say hormones?

All I know is ... I don't like them.