Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Hard Times

Lately, there have been many friends, family members, and individuals around me who have lost someone close to them. Either a grandparent, parent, sibling, child, friend, niece, nephew...it always brings back memories of when we lost our little Kegan. There are days when I struggle to hold back tears and make it through the day. I try to stay strong for Brady, Cooper, and myself. Ever since Cooper was born it has been a struggle for me. I thought that it would become easier than it was...but I find it's harder. I now know what it will be like after this life to raise him, but I often think about the "what if." What would it be like to have a boy who would be turning 3 in June? What would he look like? What would he be saying?

So, for something for me to occupy my thoughts I look at my friends blogs. Today was a special day. A lady who I barely know had this video on her blog. For a spiritual uplift I watched it. This video made me rethink my personal situation. It reminded me of how I am truly grateful to have experienced the short time with our son and the power of prayer. Today is a good day. I need to remember that I am not alone. This lady is a strong woman. She is living in pain every day and struggling with finding herself again. She is inspiring. I would imagine that my bad days would be considered a great day to her.


PECK said...

I love that video...She is soo strong.. I always read her blog and I love it. Just in case you or anyone doesn't know what blog it is, here it is: http://www.nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/ I was a little dissapointed they didn't put it in the video, because I know she has been such an inspiration to me too.

Kevin & Maryann ZELLER said...

Kelsey, I wish there was a magical way we could all make this easier on you. I know we never got the opportunity to meet Kegan, and this will be with us forever. I share a birthday with him and he is always in our thoughts on June 19th! You have done fabulous and he is waiting to see you in heaven. Please if there is anything we can do to help we would love to do that! Stay strong and our prayers are with you!
Maryann & Kevin

Robison Family said...

Thank you for posting that!! It sure makes my problems feel small and easy to deal with. Just know you are in our prayers as I hope we are in yours. I love you!

Rudi said...

I think of sweet Kegan often, I'll never forget that experience. Your babies are so, so lucky to have you as a mother, Kels.